There is a lot of awareness going around at the moment for breast cancer, and I personally have had many reminders lately to get checked again (in that my mum’s mum died of breast cancer at a young age). I had a massive wake-up call this morning when I recalled a dream!...
I dreamt I got the results of a checkup and it was ‘positive’. When I heard they’d found something I had a moment of slight relief (yes ‘relief’!). This was immediately replaced by mortification and worry, but the fact I had a slight reaction of relief shocked the hell out of me this morning. I reflected on this to understand why on earth I’d be relieved to have something I’ve greatly feared my entire life and deeply hope never to happen to me.
Here’s what I realised… the reason I felt slight relief was because I perceived this outcome to give me the excuse to fully live for (and make the most of) each day; this “excuse” would allow me to clear out everything in my life that’s not contributing to my happiness and would give me the time and space to live how I truly want to live.
Logically I know this is ridiculous, but it’s all so common. Have you ever secretly wished you were sick so you could have the excuse to lounge around and watch movies? Ever quietly hoped for an injury to give you the excuse to not do that fitness bootcamp at 6am? Or even just hoped for a rainy day to give you that excuse to stay inside snuggled in your jammies all day?
Why do we need an “excuse” to be happy, and to do the things we so desire?!
After reflecting on my dream and putting all these realisations together, the puzzle made sense, and what a wake-up call! I gained a newfound perspective on not only my life but my everyday decisions. I then started thinking of all the things I’m not doing (in that if I did have an “excuse” what would I be doing differently?). Eg. I’d spend more time down the coast at my second home seeing family; spend regular quality time with friends; stop every day to relax, nurture myself and recharge; follow my passions by having more “me-time” to research and create; go to events and gatherings to meet likeminded people who light me up; take spontaneous roadtrips to new places and have fun adventures; walk slowly barefooted along the beach at sunset.
I thought seriously about what I’m prioritising. Every decision we make and action we take is our choice, and our happiness depends on what we’re prioritising.
I had a neighbour say to me recently, just in a passing comment as we chatted over tea, “you must love being so busy Jenna otherwise you wouldn’t choose to be”. It was said in admiration as she calmly poured tea, and oh my god! – I ‘do’ choose my lifestyle, so why am I choosing to be so “busy” and not filling it with more core desired experiences?
What are your core desired experiences? What are you prioritising? Are you replacing money and goals over present moment, everyday happiness?
We don’t need an “excuse” to live the life we want. We don’t need a devastating reason as to why we prioritise happiness.
Jenna Claire Fletcher