The 3 Mistakes That Kill Any Relationship

1. You spend too much time on tech.

Social media, emails, iPhones, movies, television and computer games attach themselves to our sticky minds and cause us undue suffering every minute of every day.  This consumption of all things technology on a daily basis causes us all so much confusion and dispersion, we simply just don’t realise its force until we step away from it.

People never get a moments silence from the constant tech bombardment and when they do they don’t know how to manage their thoughts so the endless barrage of noise simply continues giving them no time or space for clarity.

The inability to manage our thoughts proves to be the principal cause of suffering. Learning to tone down the ceaseless racket of disturbing thoughts is a decisive stage on the road to inner peace
— Matthieu Ricard

We need to throw away our phones and TV remotes instead of using them as our pseudo-defence system. If we just distract ourselves so we never have to answer any real questions, we’ll never get to any good questions either.  

We all need a technology detox and one night is a great way to see just how much we depend on it. One night is not too hard to ask for especially when it is critical that we cultivate a strong relationship with ourselves, and then all our relationships flourish on the back of that.  

The Cure: Tech - Free Zone

  • Spend one of the next two nights this week without the aid of your phone, TV or laptop. If you need to use your computer or phone tonight set aside tomorrow night as your designated "Tech Free Night." If you need it tomorrow then make tonight your chance to detox and refresh.
  • Just observe how you feel, when you have a moment of boredom are you unconsciously reaching for your phone?
  • If you're feeling a touch lonely are you grabbing for the remote?
  • This also gives us the added bonus of re-connecting with ourselves, something which we need to do more and more of.  

 

2. You can't relax

Sometimes we let all the craziness of the modern world become the craziness in our minds. We become stuck in our past regrets and troubles and trapped in our future worries and concerns. This habit can lead to a wealth of unhealthy thinking that prevents us from living happily in each moment, the only moment we ever have.    

Constant worry from the noise, clutter and non-stop thought makes it difficult for us to relax and feel content and fulfilled.

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly
— Buddha

Being present, and being able to relax free from distractions, is an amazing gift not only for ourselves but for others too. Being present in each moment allows us to be a better partner, friend, brother, sister, parent, teacher, coach, teammate and child. By exploring life it allows us to connect with ourselves and in turn foster a strong and robust relationship with ourselves.

A wandering mind, one over which we have little control will not foster much happiness - but more likely result in suffering. Living with awareness and greater presence allows us to gain clarity and see exactly where our feelings are born. This gives us a chance to let go of unfruitful thoughts and feelings before we get caught up in them and they cause damage, over and over again.

We are never taught how to manage our thoughts, so they just overwhelm us over and over again.

The Cure: Body Scan

It is paramount we delve deep into our inner-workings and explore things within us, not just around us. Meditation, mindfulness, self-awareness and self-knowledge facilitate a better understanding of who we are and give us the all-important tools to manage our worries, fears and insecurities that weigh us down and can destroy our happiness.   

Try a beautiful guided Body Scan and answer the following questions....

How did you feel before the body scan? Think about the different parts of your body and your mind.

How did you feel after the body scan? Think about the different parts of your body and your mind.

 

3. You don't know what you want

No one is free who has not obtained the empire of himself. No man is free who cannot command himself
— Pythagoras

We need to command ourselves in order to be truly happy; we need to know every intricate detail of the empire that is us. When we know ourselves we gain this freedom that Pythagoras eludes to and this freedom is vital for us to be happy.

When we don’t know ourselves, who we are and what we want, we can become a product of our environment- a leaf that gets blown each and every way until it lands in a big pile of mud, and gets stuck. We will continue to find roadblocks to happiness if we fail to build a solid home within us first. The philosophers said it in Ancient Greece, know thyself, and it is more important today than ever before. The modern world preys on lost souls and if we don’t want to be pulled every which way with little control over the direction in which we head, then it is time we look within.  

Spending time in solitude, self-analysis, quietude and deep, thorough exploration gives us the space we so badly need to get to know ourselves, our sufferings and our desires. This is where we realise an all-important life lesson - happiness starts and ends right here with us.  

The Cure: Find Your Values!


Get to know yourself even better with one of our 7 minute meditations. IF YOU WANT TO develop your relationship further YOU CAN PRE-ORDER THE HAPPINESS INITIATIVE WORKBOOK.

WANT TO EXPLORE MORE? SHARE THIS ARTICLE ON FACEBOOK, INSTAGRAM OR TWITTER, SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER, OR LIKE US ON FACEBOOK AND YOU WILL RECEIVE A FREE COPY OF THE HAPPINESS BLUEPRINT